


Ruminations

by TiffanyF



Series: I swear [9]
Category: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-04
Updated: 2013-02-04
Packaged: 2017-11-28 04:07:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/670095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TiffanyF/pseuds/TiffanyF
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>***SPOILERS*** Season 7 Burnout. Grissom's thoughts after the case is over and his lover's reactions. I don't own anything CSI related and am just playing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ruminations

Gil Grissom shut the door to Brass' office behind him with a sigh, closed the blinds on the door and turned off the light. Making his way by sense he walked wearily to the sofa at the far end of the room and lay down with a soft moan. The case had been particularly trying; two young boys missing, one dead and who was ultimately to blame. Somehow, deep down, Gil thought it might be him. Trying not to wince as shadows danced over him, he closed his eyes and waited for his medicine to take effect.

He didn't move when the door opened or when the lock was turned softly. Gil knew the presence in the room, knew it well, and was reassured by it. His head hurt but he didn't want to admit to weakness, not even one that was known.

"Gil, why didn't you tell us it was so bad?" Nick Stokes asked quietly as he knelt down by the sofa, knowing better than to jar his boss and lover. "Brass just told me he saw you at the water fountain taking something. You should go home."

"I'll be fine," Grissom said softly. "I just need to rest for a bit."

Nick sighed. He shifted around so he was sitting on the floor and took his partner's hand. "I know it hurts but I want you to listen to me," he said, his soft voice heavy with his Texas accent. Gil knew that meant Nick was upset. "This was not your fault," Nick said. "You did everything you could to find those boys. You are not to blame for anything that happened."

"What if I'd questioned Carl more closely?" Grissom asked. He flinched at the tapping on the door.

"That's Greg," Nick said. "I told him where I would be." He stood up and quietly made his way to the door. He checked before unlocking it to allow their younger lover into the room. 

Unusually quiet, the young man made his way softly to the edge of the sofa and sat down on the floor next to his lover's head. He reached up and softly ran his hand over Gil's soft, curly hair. Nick relocked the door and joined the other men. Greg leaned back against Nick, still maintaining contact with Gil.

"Gil, what if you had been more aggressive in your questioning?" Nick asked softly. "He was smart; he knew how to play the system. He strung us all along like fools, with just enough evidence hidden to delay us. From what Doc Robbins tells me Lucas was dead before his mom even called to report him missing."

"I just hate people who prey on kids," Gil said, wincing at the sound of his own loud voice.

"Did you take your meds?" Greg asked, holding out a bottle. "Or just the ones that hold off the pain until it becomes unbearable."

"I had to work the case, Greg," Grissom replied. "I'll be fine. I just need to rest. I need to think out what happened tonight."

Nick reached out with his left hand and caught at the gold chain hanging around Gil's neck. "Just don't forget," he whispered. "We're here if you need us."

"I think Brass would be hurt if he caught us in his office," Greg said, smiling a little. But he added his hand to Nick's, letting them rest against Grissom's heart.

"I think Jim would be stunned if he caught us in his office," Nick replied. He got up to his knees, leaned in and kissed Gil gently. "I know you're going to blame yourself for this no matter what I say, but please consider this; you do everything you can to help others, including putting your health at risk. Why do you do it?"

"Because everyone deserves a voice," Grissom answered, giving his routine reply.

Nick smiled. "That includes Gil Grissom," he said. "You can't go making yourself sick over cases with kids because when someone needs you, really needs you, you'll be in here with the lights off, questioning yourself."

"That's low, Nick," Gil said.

"It's the truth, Gil," Nick said in reply. "Think about it. You told me, once you start to question yourself you start to question your methods and then you can't help anyone. Mourn for the victims. Cry for Lucas, for the innocent life that was taken away far too early. But don't blame yourself. No one else does."

Greg took Nick's place and kissed his older lover. "I know your stomach is probably going to rebel, but take these, please," he said. "You need to sleep. Let us take you home and put you to bed. Listen to Nick, Gil, please; don't make yourself sicker as a punishment for this case."

Grissom sighed and finally opened his eyes, focusing on his lovers. "When did you guys get so smart?" he asked, closing his eyes against the pain.

"We learned from the best," Nick said. He put his arm under Grissom's shoulders and lifted, helping his lover stand. "Come on, lets get you home and into bed. Who knows, maybe by tomorrow you'll feel good enough to come back to work."

"I'm off tomorrow," Gil replied. "May I borrow your sunglasses, please Nicky? The hall lights are going to be too bright for me."

Nick dug in one of his vest pockets and handed the glasses to the other man; taking Gil's reading glasses and tucking them safely away. "Well, if you're off tomorrow, maybe you'll feel up to something a little more, athletic."

Greg unlocked and opened the door. "There's no one out there; come on, let's move before anyone needs to ask Gil a question."

"Guys," Gil said, stopping them and shutting the door again. "I don't say it nearly enough, but I love you. Both of you." 

"We love you too, Gil," Greg said.

Nick moved his arm to his lover's waist, mostly supporting but also standing a little closer than necessary. He knew what Gil was trying to say and why he felt he had to say it. The CSI supervisor had two things that made him mad; senseless death and violence against children. With a migraine Gil wasn't able to vent like he normally would so he was trying to keep his emotions bottled up inside. But under the simple words they were so careful about saying around the lab; Nick knew that Gil was saying how much he and Greg meant to the older man, how much their support meant. And, Nick knew, that Gil was finally learning what it meant to be partners.


End file.
